My heart aches – it feels heavy.
I sit waiting for a plane. I feel alone and isolated. I know these feelings only because I know what its like to be connected. To feel attached, “coupled”. If I had not felt the good, the better, then I would not know the bad, the loss.
It’s hard to decide if the phrase, “'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” is really true. If you don’t feel love, connection, true happiness in your soul, then you don’t know the heartache, the pain and the sense of loss.
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
However, if you haven’t truly connect, felt the spark, the chemistry with another soul, what do you have left?
I think the phrase is true in that the alternative to the love and pain of loss is black. Black is devoid of color, thought, reason, love, harmony and a soul. I think these feeling would bring on a bigger pain then the pain of a lost love.
To have never felt the unconscious spark when you first put your hand in the palm of another, to catch yourself looking at another person and seeing inside their soul and wishing you could live there forever, to feel a harmony and a sense of “being with” another person even when your hundreds of miles away...
To never know that someone else feels and connects with your very essence in a way that makes you wonder how you have survived to this point in life or to even have known how to breath – is nothing short of a miracle.
There is risk. “The hottest love has the coldest end” Socrates said. This is so true, the greatest rewards sometimes come with the most risks or cost. Sometimes we are so caught up in the risk, in the trees, in the moment of time and the chance to win, to grab the brass ring, to feel like a winner, that we do loose sight of the goal.
Its hard to be open and honest and take risk, to look at fear and face it, to feel anxious about the steps we take. To be so open that the risk is nearly unbearable, to feel so exposed and so alone and afraid but so hopeful that when it happens, what would have felt like a lifetime of sorrow, last only a milisecond and the joy takes over. it guides, it binds, it heals. It drives the soul.
This is the Everest, the highest pinnacle a man or woman can climb to, the peak of life, of being.
Possibly ” the purpose.“
I continue to work.