Merry Christmas 2007
Posted on | December 25, 2007 | No Comments
This shot is not Christmas day, but the Eve which brought a lot of snow and a lot of blowing it all over the place, or at least in a place that was not the driveway…
Living in the desert, you don’t get the “White Christmas”, so I had to fly to the white…
And here is the cabin Christmas Bear… it was the feature on my Christmas Cards this year.
Wow… what is it…
Posted on | December 24, 2007 | No Comments
Sitting here in the snow, yes, snow and yes not in the desert….
So…. what is it? Why do I feel hyper, a little anxious? I love music, words, interaction, work, etc… on a simple level, things are pretty okay, sure, there are about 8 – 10 things that could be better but they are manageble…
So why am I anxious?
Christmas Eve Anxious… based on family?, friends?, relationships?, desires?, wants?… I know what it is… or at least I think I know… isn’t that progress, or evolution on my part?
I don’t or can’t or won’t discuss it… too scary, too real, too much of a possibility of not happening… not going to be what dreams are made of…
Hmmmm… stay the course, not republican-ized version, but stay the course of the heart (aka – be true to it), give it over, give it up, express it and allow what will be will be- hope, pray for the best and just let it happen.
It can happen, it will….
It’s Christmas, dreams, hopes, desires are wrapped up and waiting for us to rip them open and live it whole.
Enjoy
New Places I Have Been
Posted on | December 22, 2007 | No Comments
An update to the “Places I Have Been” journal entry back in Oct 2005. That was and is a cool app showing gif manipulation. The issue with it is that once you do it, you have to redo it each time from scratch to add new places. That is time consuming and a hassle.
Enter the new and improved, Places I have been map… I have just stared this venture, and will be adding much more places. The really nice thing is it stores the info so you can go back and edit, add or delete and add additional comments or pics to each entry.
Nice little app.
Better Man
Posted on | December 21, 2007 | No Comments
Fantastic artist, great lyrics…
“Better Man”
There was a time
I had nothing to give
I needed shelter from the storm I was in
When it all got too heavy
You carried my weight
And I want to hold you
And I want to say
That you are all that I need
For you, I give my soul to keep
You see me, love me
Just the way I am
I said for you I am a better man
I said you are the reason
For everything that I do
I’d be lost, so lost, without you
Under the stars
At the edge of the sea
There’s no one around
No one but you and me
We’d talk for hours
As time drifts away
I could stay here for ever
And hold you this way
Cause you are all that I need
For you, I give my soul to keep
You see me, love me
Just the way I am
I said for you I am a better man
I said you are the reason
For everything that I do
I’d be lost, so lost, without you
~james morrison
What if… / …and then
Posted on | December 10, 2007 | No Comments
What if…
You look back at so many of the things in life that shaped you; the places, events, friends, challenges and opportunities that give rise to your memories and thoughts and logic and wondered… why DID I go that way, did I have a choice, was I able to see what would have been, what could be, what if I went the other way.
…and then…
So many choices, some regrets, some coupled with pain, tears filled with joy, memories printed and framed, words spoken to touch the heart, yet, did you choose correctly? Could it be different today, yes – it certainly would, you know you would live life much different than you do now, but, would it be better or worse. You sit and wonder with pen in hand, camera at the ready, looking for the shot, a sign, the inspiration to capture the quote to post and bring clarity; did it arrive too soon or too late. You may not have been ready when it first appeared, you now know this more today than ever, yet you kept looking. Sometimes you found it in a bottle or a small dark room of warmth and disconnection, in a joke, while quietly pushing the “if” deeper inside, but never getting an answer.
What if…
While watching the play, your play, the one starring you, in your head, filled with a cast of so many, critics some, others fans, repetitiously going over the lines, sometimes wishing for a re-write, an edited version or a new phrase to make a change in plot and plan, you dare to stop. You think by getting new writers, new players, that things will change for the better, new story lines; however, you are still the same. You finally stop acting.
…and then…
Who would you be today if not who you are? You are the person you have become by subscribing to this life, this theory, this book, this play; the plan you helped to create – yes you even directed most of the times, some out of destiny’s sake, others came from fear, some showed signs humor but mostly from your soul – often without direction or reason. Right or wrong, it has happened. Now what do you do, that is the question as if some medieval dragon you must rise and conquer. Would you be sitting today, measuring the quotient called happiness and seeing your number rise in-spite of what you know, of what you are told. You finally started, you made a right step, you began to edit the plot, make changes, take risks, looked back with opened arms.
…and then… you are here.
Finding a connection is really not that hard, saying words are easy – giving ourselves in some fashion, saying I Love You, its simple at times to envision the world through those bright shiny glasses so that she and everyone else has that rosy complexion. Many people wear those goggles today and are quite happy. I challenge most to try and say different, we want it, we seek it out, we create it many times where it does not exist. We can try to write it how it should be, force the actors into their places and let it run its course, playing along to the same tone and beat as directed. So many people do it, so it really is not a huge effort to find love, become a part of its’ charm and actually believe you are in it, that is the easy part.
What if…
The truly hard part, the part that comes from somewhere within, where we don’t often visit or ever see, can take the “what if…” world of choices and U-turns and flip things over. This kind of effort could be the answer. The kind of effort that we often don’t recognize, or when we do see it sitting right in front of our face, we pass it by so easily and then wonder why we ended up somewhere else, why did things not work out as we we wanted. You, yes, you, have done this often enough to recognize it and know when it is slapping you in the face. You know that this effort takes passionate sustained practice, it is the effort that eludes us most of all; you know this is letting go. You know you need to accept, trust and build; you need to give more than what is expected and yet more importantly, you need to love what you get above what you expect. You have felt a glimpse of this, when the world slows down and your vision tunnels in on what matters – all your insecurities and tendencies dissipate and all it took was the surprise brush of her hand in yours.
…and then… you are there.
To see what others don’t, to let yourself be seen. When the normal, the mundane the overlooked becomes the glasses by which you gauge the world. What she things will drive you away, what you are sure you must hide so she stays, you let it go. You are now creating and writing together the plan which you want to truly subscribe to and you let go of the fear and the feelings of angst; rosy now makes sense, rosy is a new shade of joy. You put down the glasses, you don’t need them to see. All things in life are still uncertain, the path to choose, the direction has walls and where life has its turns to contemplate, will will forever be. However.
What if…
The time you spend together can so clearly illuminate all the things that can be undefined and opens them to reason and optimistic challenge; you are here for a reason, she is here for that same reason – the union is stronger than the challenge. It was not luck – it cannot be that simple, nor can it just be fate, regardless, you drove here, she drove here and now, the similarities and differences are joined, not set aside, but together. Everything else is and can be undefined, but together is not. Together is definite and secure.
…and then… you are both there.
That is where you look to stand, to run and play, to live how you saw as child. You may wonder why, and look back to the places of the past for a reason, but together you drive forward. You are together, finally.
…and then…