Introduction

This is an essay in an attempt to provide evidence to substantiate the contention that relation is the fundamental beginning of existence. It has been argued that we are put onto the world alone and have to uncover meaning and that we will eventually die alone. In the course of this essay, I will take up the areas of life, the birth rites and the drive for participation, the fundamental role that love plays and finally, the impossibility of the actualization of death. I will argue that since life is relational by nature, it would seem to follow that death is not a ripping away from relation and that is does not occur alone; I will contend that when we die, we die with some type of relation.

The organization of the essay is twofold. The first section will deal with background information. It will lay the groundwork for an understanding of the concepts and languages I will refer to in the second section.

The second section of the essay is a personal analysis of myself as being thrown, as it were, into an emotional situation. I will look at past, current and potential future situations and how relationships have played a key role in my development. I will show the different existential modes of relating to the world that I underwent and I will try to give concrete evidence to my primary contention of the human being as being relational in nature. There will be several portions that may appear to be repetitive in the second part; and by this I hope to achieve several things. I feel the repetitive sections will serve to improve the clarity of the topic and most importantly, it will aid in grounding theory in actual lived experiences. An added advantage in seeing the repetitive information is to see how the human existence is always striving towards the relation; in this, it will become apparent that although I may continue to strive for a relation, I will not or cannot realize this without true authentic feelings and knowing what is a relation. Hope comes in the effort of working towards the relation, the drawing to the other person to become a better person yourself. Once we cut off our desire to relate and build a relation, we die. Not simply a physical departure, but an emotional one that removes the soul from existence. In the search and in the continual efforts to find a relation, it is the philisophical question that longs to be asked: Who am I, how do I define myself, what is my purpose. This journey shows we are alive gives hope. This is my journey.

As a side note. The bulk off this essay was written May 28th, 1987. I am rewriting it in its